You have built your career and your wealth and now are ready to get married. You met the one you want to marry. You may have your own concerns about what happens in case of divorce. These concerns may come from your own prior marriage and divorce. They may come from advise from your counselors, friends, and family, or they may come from the stories you heard from people who have gone through divorce.
You now have a dilemma. You want to start your marriage with trust and dedication. And you are afraid if you tell your fiancé that he or she needs to sign a prenuptial agreement, they may think that you don’t trust them. You are concerned about damaging the trust or the foundation of your marriage.
Let me give you a perspective about premarital agreements that will actually strengthen the trust and foundation of your future marriage.
Premarital agreements allow for couples getting married to discuss difficult and important issues in a way that makes their relationship stronger. As future married couple you are financial partners. Most couples getting married avoid talking about the financial matters and therefore start a marriage on a weak foundation.
At Smart Divorce Options, we support you in an open, honest, and intimate way of communicating about marital financial plans and arrangements. You want your marriage to be based on a relationship where you can talk to each other about anything. You let your spouse know that you have these concerns from what you have heard or from your past experience. You want to let them know that you are 100% committed to have a trusting loving relationship and you want to address each other’s concerns together.
The key is your vantage point. If you talk about your concerns from the vantage point of “in case of divorce,” that will be a plan based on fear. No plan will be a productive plan based on fear.
I suggest a conversation about finances based on future dreams and goals. For example: I want this set aside for that and I want to build this with you for our marriage. In building this partnership, being open and honest with your finances is a big deal.
You want your plans to be future based not fear based.
Michelle Daneshrad, CFLS